Professor of Bristolian

I noticed that some peepaw 'oo visits me Professor of Bristolian facebook page finks they might need a phrase book or go to night classes so that they cass unnerstand the natives, mind, when they come to Bristol, speshully those woss movin' yer shortly. So to put thy minds at rest, like, yer's a guide of 'ow Bristolian the accents is of some famous Bristolians. (Famous Bristolians wot don't 'av a accent ain't included). 1. Barely detectable bu' juss 'bout noticeable Bristol accent - Richard Scudamore, CEO of the Premier League.   2. Very noticeable bu' not gert broad Bristol accents - Stephen Merchant (comedy writer and actor) and Gary Mabbutt (ex-Bristol Rovers, Tottenham Hotspur and England footballer).   3. Bit broader Bristol accents - Ian Holloway (ex-footballer, football manager and pundit) and Gareth Chilcott (ex-Bath and England rugby player).   4. Gert bleedin broad Bristol accents - Josie Gibson (telev...

As a Professor of Bristolian one of the fings wot I likes doin', 'n encouragin' me students a do, is drawlin'. So I fawt it 'ud be a good ideawl to share some o' me faverit drawlin's wot I done wiv thee 'n tawk a bit bout the stories 'n nostalgiawl connected wiv some of 'em. I growed up in Norf Bristol dinneye, in Brent-ree tween the Mead 'n Embray, tho Brent-ree is more like a estension of Embray than any of they udder districks next to it. I done quite a few drawlin's of buildin's 'n that in Embray, speshly up Blaise . One o' me faverits is this 'un of a cottage up Blaise 'Amlet.  I ain't got no funny stories wot I can tell thee bout goin up thur, mind. Usually, I bin up thur wiv friends 'n that wot ain't from Bristol, to show 'em wot a pretty place thur wuz on me doorstep, second only to that rank o' shops in Crow Lane (no, ize jokin'!). They cottages up Blaise Amlet is gert lush ...

The Professor of Bristolian has written an unpublished book entitled An Englishman In Nuoro (A Bristolian In Sardinia) . The following extract is from a chapter that tells of the background to, and the story of, the popularity of Bristolian Talkin' Tom:- Chapter Eighteen                   Bristolian Talkin’ Tom In Chapter Four I wrote about my appearance as a Professor of Bristolian in the DVD “Terry’s Bristolian Language Lessons” and how shortly after the DVD came out in November 2010 I created a Professor of Bristolian Facebook page. I also mentioned how a few years after I created the page its popularity really took off as a result of something that I could never have foreseen. When I first started the page I just posted links that I thought were quite informative as well as being amusing and that had references to the Bristol accent and dialect. Anyway, after about 18 month...

Yer, while I wuz on Facebook earlier today (on me normal page not me Professor of Bristolian page) I got into an exchange, mind, in which The Bristol Funny List: 50 of the city's funniest men and women wuz mentioned. Yeah, this wuz in the Bristol Post, mind, bout a year ago. Well, I wuz finkin' that thur wuz too many celebrities in the list, like, and too many peepaw wot ain't got the strongest connection wiv the city, mind. So I fawt it 'ud be a good ideawl to do The Alternative Bristol Funny List: 10 of the city's funniest men, women and creatures . See, the rawls arr that they cassen't be in the Bristol Post list nor be gert famous celebrities 'n that, bu' Bristolian creatures in the form of animated cartoons is allowed innum! So in no partic'lar order of ooze the funniest, yer goes. 1. Bristolian Talkin' Tom The mazen tomcat wot wuz found in a shoebox as a kitten be'ind they shops in Crow Lane, Embray. Eeze a bit full of 'issel...

After I finished reading From A Field To Anfield by Nick Tanner with Steve Cotton I read another book on football entitled What We Think About When We Think About Football by philosopher Simon Critchley (it was a Christmas present from my brother). Whilst I did enjoy reading it I do have to say that it has to be one of the most pretentious books on football ever written, so pretentious in fact that it is extremely entertaining. There are loads of passages in it which would be ripe for inclusion in Private Eye's Pseuds Corner . Names like Aristotle , Heidegger , Hegel , Nietsche , Marx and Sartre seem to be namechecked more often than Messi , Ronaldo , Best and Charlton ! Anyway, I thought it would be fun to translate some of these wonderfully weighty and verbose passages into classic Bristolian. I swear that even non-Bristolians would find the Bristolian translations easier to understand than the original English version! (From Page 71) "The key to football is the...

I thought it would be a good idea to do some book reviews of books that may be of interest to Bristolians. I will write the review in English and then do a Bristolian translation of the review for all those native Bristolians and students of the Bristolian language who may be described as 'keeners'. From A Field To Anfield ( Nick Tanner with Steve Cotton ) - Pitch Publishing This book is a must read for all Bristolian football fans especially gasheads and kudos must go to Steve Cotton for turning Nick's football experiences into such an entertaining read. It tells the story of a young lad with no expectations of playing Premier League football, and with little expectation of playing full-time professional football. Nevertheless, he somehow made the journey from being a factory worker at British Aerospace, and part-time player at Mangotsfield United , to Bristol Rovers and then Liverpool within a few short years. While it's fascinating to read about how Nick c...

With only a fortnight now until Christmas Eve it might be wise of me to inform you of a little known fact: Father Christmas is a Bristolian. This has become more widely known in recent times thanks to my own efforts. You see, over the last two or three years I've been making videos in which Bristolian Father Christmas talks about his adventures in and around Bristol . Of course, he's quite open about his cider drinking habit and the Old Crow in Henbury is one of his favourite haunts. Well, even though he was confused by a posh Cliftonite saying "Vino I up landlord!" at the Old Crow it doesn't stop him drinking cider in the Coronation Tap in Clifton, not far from the famous Clifton Suspension Bridge. There was one occasion, though, when having had a few ciders there he didn't have a very pleasant experience afterwards. However, he did get his revenge! Then there's also the Blaise Inn in Henbury where he has been known to enjoy a bit of rough cider...