Gawdilocks 'N The Free Bears, Mind!
The Story of Goldilocks and the Three Bears Retold in Bristolian
Once upon a time, mind, thur wuz this lit lun, this little girl, like, 'n she wuz cawd Gawdilocks wont she, 'n she lived out Embray in Brissdawl. Yeah, 'n one day she went out for a walk 'n that, din't she, out up they Blaise Woods, mind! She found a gert 'ouse up thur 'n awl, din't she! Yeah, so she knocked on the door like 'n none of they bleeders inside answered did 'em! So bein' a gert nosey little cow she walked in 'n 'ad a gert nose around din't she!
Gawdilocks gone 'n went in the kitchen, like, 'n she seen free bawls o' porridge on the table 'n cuz she wuz gert ungray she fawt she'd taste the porridge from awl the bawls, mind! So she tasted the porridge frum the furse bawl.
"Too bleedin' 'ot!" she goes. "I cassen't eat this!"
So she went 'n tried the porridge frum the second bawl.
"Too bleedin' cawd innit?! I cassen't eat this neither!" she said.
So she tasted frum the furd bawl.
"Juss right!" she said. "Iss gert lush 'n awl! Ize gonne eat it awl, mind, cuz ize a gert greedy little cow inneye!"
After Gawdilocks 'ad eaten it awl up she wuz feelin' gert knackered, wont she! So she gone 'n went in the livin' room wur she seen free chairs. She sat in the furse chair furse.
"Cor blige!" she said. "This is a gert macky chair! Too bleedin' big for I!"
So she goes 'n sits in the second chair don't she!
"This un's gert macky 'n awl innit!"
So she tried the furd chair.
"This un's juss right!" she said. But when she gone 'n went 'n sat down in it she broke the bleedin' fing din't she?!
By this time she was really gert bleedin' knackered 'n gert desperate for a kip, mind! She gone 'n went upstairs 'n found the bedroom wur thur wuz free beds. She laid down in the furse bed but i' wuz too bleedin' 'ard! She laid down in the second bed bu' it wuz too bleedin' soft wonnit?! Bu' the furd bed wuz juss right 'n after she gone 'n laid down in it she fell asleep din't she.
She wuz asleep, mind, when the free bears wot lived in the 'ouse come back after they'd awl done a poo in the woods.
"Yer! Some bleeder's bin eatin' me porridge!" growled the awd man bear.
"Some bleeder's 'ad some o' mine 'n awl!" said arr muh bear.
"Some bleeder's bin eatin' me porridge 'n awl!" shrieked the babby bear. "Scoffed the bleedin' lot too!"
"Yer some bleeder's bin sat in me chair!" growled the awd man bear.
"Some bleeder's bin sat in me chair 'n awl!" exclaimed arr muh bear.
"Some bleeder's gone 'n sat in me chair 'n broke the bloody fing amt they?!" cried the babby bear.
Well, they wanted to know wot wuz goin' on, dinnum, 'n when they got upstairs they gone 'n went in the bedroom.
"Some bleeder's bin sleepin' in me bed!" growled the awd man bear.
"Some bleeder's bin sleepin' in me bed 'n awl!" said arr muh bear.
"Some bleeder's bin sleepin' in me bed too 'n the thievin' little cow's still thur int she?!" cried the little babby bear.
At that gert precise moment, mind, Gawdilocks woke up dint she?! She seen the free bears, she screamed, jumped outa the bed, mind, run out the 'ouse 'n scarpered fru the woods, like. So the nex' time she gone 'n went up Blaise Woods she wuz wiv 'er mates, like, wont she, 'n she never went near the 'ouse wot belonged to the free bears!
(Thees can lissen to the awl text by clickin' on the vid below me luvlays!)
Once upon a time, mind, thur wuz this lit lun, this little girl, like, 'n she wuz cawd Gawdilocks wont she, 'n she lived out Embray in Brissdawl. Yeah, 'n one day she went out for a walk 'n that, din't she, out up they Blaise Woods, mind! She found a gert 'ouse up thur 'n awl, din't she! Yeah, so she knocked on the door like 'n none of they bleeders inside answered did 'em! So bein' a gert nosey little cow she walked in 'n 'ad a gert nose around din't she!
Gawdilocks gone 'n went in the kitchen, like, 'n she seen free bawls o' porridge on the table 'n cuz she wuz gert ungray she fawt she'd taste the porridge from awl the bawls, mind! So she tasted the porridge frum the furse bawl.
"Too bleedin' 'ot!" she goes. "I cassen't eat this!"
So she went 'n tried the porridge frum the second bawl.
"Too bleedin' cawd innit?! I cassen't eat this neither!" she said.
So she tasted frum the furd bawl.
"Juss right!" she said. "Iss gert lush 'n awl! Ize gonne eat it awl, mind, cuz ize a gert greedy little cow inneye!"
After Gawdilocks 'ad eaten it awl up she wuz feelin' gert knackered, wont she! So she gone 'n went in the livin' room wur she seen free chairs. She sat in the furse chair furse.
"Cor blige!" she said. "This is a gert macky chair! Too bleedin' big for I!"
So she goes 'n sits in the second chair don't she!
"This un's gert macky 'n awl innit!"
So she tried the furd chair.
"This un's juss right!" she said. But when she gone 'n went 'n sat down in it she broke the bleedin' fing din't she?!
By this time she was really gert bleedin' knackered 'n gert desperate for a kip, mind! She gone 'n went upstairs 'n found the bedroom wur thur wuz free beds. She laid down in the furse bed but i' wuz too bleedin' 'ard! She laid down in the second bed bu' it wuz too bleedin' soft wonnit?! Bu' the furd bed wuz juss right 'n after she gone 'n laid down in it she fell asleep din't she.
She wuz asleep, mind, when the free bears wot lived in the 'ouse come back after they'd awl done a poo in the woods.
"Yer! Some bleeder's bin eatin' me porridge!" growled the awd man bear.
"Some bleeder's 'ad some o' mine 'n awl!" said arr muh bear.
"Some bleeder's bin eatin' me porridge 'n awl!" shrieked the babby bear. "Scoffed the bleedin' lot too!"
"Yer some bleeder's bin sat in me chair!" growled the awd man bear.
"Some bleeder's bin sat in me chair 'n awl!" exclaimed arr muh bear.
"Some bleeder's gone 'n sat in me chair 'n broke the bloody fing amt they?!" cried the babby bear.
Well, they wanted to know wot wuz goin' on, dinnum, 'n when they got upstairs they gone 'n went in the bedroom.
"Some bleeder's bin sleepin' in me bed!" growled the awd man bear.
"Some bleeder's bin sleepin' in me bed 'n awl!" said arr muh bear.
"Some bleeder's bin sleepin' in me bed too 'n the thievin' little cow's still thur int she?!" cried the little babby bear.
At that gert precise moment, mind, Gawdilocks woke up dint she?! She seen the free bears, she screamed, jumped outa the bed, mind, run out the 'ouse 'n scarpered fru the woods, like. So the nex' time she gone 'n went up Blaise Woods she wuz wiv 'er mates, like, wont she, 'n she never went near the 'ouse wot belonged to the free bears!
(Thees can lissen to the awl text by clickin' on the vid below me luvlays!)
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