A Brief Guide to Bristolian Grammar

A Brief Guide To Bristolian Grammar

Introduction

Relatively recently there have been reports in the British press that the Bristolian dialect or language is in danger of dying out. It seems that more and more outsiders are moving to the city and bringing their rather varied versions of standard English to Bristol whilst ignoring completely the local tongue of the true natives or even going so far as ridiculing it! This is linguistic heresy at its worst! So, as a Professor of Bristolian, I wish to continue the good work done by one of my finest students Terry Crouch, aka Terry the Oddjobman, who produced the DVD Terry’s Bristolian Language Lessons in which I made a cameo appearance (and very honoured to do so I was too). In this little book I wish to reacquaint all Bristolians, and outsiders too of course, with the grammatical structure of their language along with some pronunciation tips and the context in which the language is used in every day Bristolian life.


Bristolian Grammar


Part One: Conjugation of the verb “to be” in Bristolian

Present Tense
Ize                                                                 I am
Thee bist/Yoom                                            You are
Eeze/Sheeze/Iss                                            He is/she is/it* is
Weem                                                           We are
*Thee bist/Yoom                                          You are
Theym                                                          They are

*NB. The ‘t’ sound in Bristolian in the middle or at the end of a word will always be a glottal stop. Unfortunately there is no symbol for the glottal stop in the conventional English alphabet. Likewise the ‘th’ sound in Bristolian isn’t the same as the ‘th’ sound in standard English. It is sometimes written as ‘d’, ‘v’ or ‘f’ in Bristolian but, in truth, it is a little different again because in Bristolian the tongue touches the teeth much more gently than it does in standard English when pronouncing a word that features the ‘th’ sound.


Putting it all into context:-

*Ize appay but thee bist gert sad            
I’m happy but you are really sad
Eeze a ijut, sheeze a gert munter ‘n iss not prittee       
He’s an idiot, she’s really ugly and it’s not pretty
Weem normal, yoom shot away ‘n they, theym shot away ‘n awl!      
We’re normal, you’re out of your mind and them, they’re out of their minds too!

*Although ‘ize’ is still used in Bristolian conversation the English form ‘I’m’ is, sadly, more frequently used nowadays by Bristolian speakers.               


Simple Past
I wuz                                                            I was
Thees wuz/yoom wuz                                  You were                 
E wuz/she wuz/it wuz                                  He was/she was/it was
Weem wuz                                                   We were
Thees wuz/yoom wuz                                  You were
Theym wuz                                                  They were


Putting it all into context:-

I wuz thur lass night. Thees wuz gert spawnay!
I was there last night. You were really lucky!
E wuz out wiv is missus. She wuz lookin’ gert lush! 
He was out with his wife. She was looking very nice!
It wuz luvlay. Weem exstatic!
It was lovely. We’re ecstatic!
Yoom wuz ome but *they(m) wuz on oliday
You were at home but they were on holiday

*NB The ‘m’ isn’t always pronounced in this context, especially if the next word begins with a consonant. On the other hand, if the next word begins with a vowel the ‘m’ will nearly always be pronounced. However, there is no hard and fast rule on this. It really depends on how easily the words flow into one another.


Future Tense
Ull be                                                           I’ll be
Thees’ll be/yawl be                                     You’ll be
Ill be/shill be/it’ull be                                   He’ll be/she’ll be/it’ll be
Will be                                                         We’ll be
Thees’ll be/yawl be                                     You’ll be
Thell be                                                       They’ll be


Putting it all into context:-

Ull be in Ore Field soon.                              I’ll be in Horfield soon.
Thees’ll be in Fill-Un soon                          You’ll be in Filton soon.
Ill be in Nawl Wess  soon                            He’ll be in Knowle West soon.
Shill be in Embray soon                               She’ll be in Henbury soon.
It’ull be gert macky!                                     It will be really big.
Will be in Art Cleff soon                              We’ll be in Hartfcliffe soon
Yawl be in Cane Shum soon                        You’ll be in Keynsham soon
Thell be in Briz seevnen                              They’ll be in Brislington this evening


Present Perfect Tense
*I av bin                                                        I have been
Thees av bin/yoom av bin                            You have been
E av bin/she av bin/it av bin                         He has been/she has been/it has been
Weem av bin                                                 We have been
Thees av bin/yoom av bin                            You have been
Theym av bin                                                They have been


Putting it all into context:-

I av bin thur!                                                 I have been there!
Thees av bin a’ ome                                     You have been at home
E av bin everywhere!                                    He has been everywhere
She av bin ill                                                 She has been ill
It av bin diffcawt!                                          It has been difficult
Weem av bin gert worried!                           We have been very worried
Yoom av bin a butchers                                You have been to the butchers
Theym av bin a Baff                                     They have been to Bath

*In spoken Bristolian ‘av’ is almost always left out so “I av bin thur” becomes “I bin thur”.

It is very important to note that in such cases the ‘m’ sound of the personal pronoun in the plural is never pronounced. So instead, in spoken Bristolian, we will have the following: we bin, you bin, they bin as in “they bin a Baff”.


Conditional Tense
I ud be                                                        I would be or I’d be etc
Thees/yoom ud be                                     You would be
E/she/it ud be                                             He/she/it would be
Weem ud be                                              We would be
Thees/yoom ud be                                     You would be
Theym ud be                                              They would be


Putting it all into context:-

I ud be appyer wiv that!                                  I would be happier with that
Thees ud be useless!                                       You’d be useless!
E ud be better ‘n she!                                      He would be better than her!
She ud be better ‘n e                                       She would be better than him!
It ud be gert good, mind!                                Mind you, it would be very good!
Weem ud be urrlay!                                        We would be early!
Yoom ud be from Shire me awd babs            You’d be from Shirehampton my friend
Theym ud be largurrs, they beers!                  They would be lagers, those beers!

Negative Form Of The Present Tense
I ain’t                                                                                  I am not/I’m not etc.
You ain’t/thees ain’t                                                           You are not
E/she/it ain’t                                                                       He/she/it is not
We ain’t/weem not                                                             We are not
You ain’t/thees ain’t                                                           You are not
They ain’t/theym ain’t                                                        They are not


Putting it all into context:-                                         

I ain’t no scholar me love                                  I am no scholar my darling
Thees ain’t no afflete!                                        You are no athlete
E ain’t ansome, eeze a munter!                          He isn’t handsome, he’s ugly!
She ain’t downtown, sheeze ‘ome!                    She isn’t in town, she’s at home
It ain’t writ in stone!                                           It isn’t written in stone!
We ain’t appay!                                                  We are not happy!
You ain’t no English grajjewutts!                       You are not graduates in English!
They ain’t ard, theym gert soft!                          They aren’t tough, they’re rather soft!

N.B. While in English a double negative is incorrect grammatically, you will note from some of these examples that a double negative is perfectly permissable in Bristolian.


Negative Forms Of Other Tenses

It isn’t  really necessary to conjugate the negative forms of the other tenses because, by and large, they can be summed up thus:-

Simple Past                             Wuz becomes weren’t
Future tense:                            Ull becomes on’t
Present Perfect tense:               Av bin become ain’t bin
Conditional tense:                    Ud becomes udden’t


Putting all that into context in one phrase:-

I weren’t thur ‘n I on’t be goin’ thur neever cuz I ain’t bin nur she ‘n I udden’t go nur she if thees paid I!

(Translated into English):- I wasn’t there and I won’t be going there either because I haven’t been near her and I wouldn’t go near her even if you paid me!


Question Tags

Those of you who have studied English grammar will be aware that question tags are linguistic structures in which a sort of declaration is turned into a question, as if for confirmation. They work in exactly the same way in Bristolian as the following examples will demonstrate:-

Ize gert brill inneye?                                        I’m brilliant am I not?
Yoom gert awd int thee?                                 You’re very old aren’t you?
Eeze a keener innee?                                       He’s a swot isn’t he?
Sheeze a right scutler int she?                         She’s a young lady of ill repute isn’t she?
Iss everso ‘ard innit?                                        It’s very hard isn’t it?
Weem appay innus?                                         We’re happy aren’t we?
Yoom lot’s gert fick int thee?                           You lot are rather unintelligent aren’t you?
Theym awl meaders up Soufmead innem?       They are all known as meaders in Southmead aren’t  
                                                                           they?

Part Two: Conjugation of the verb “to have” (to av) in Bristolian


Present tense
I av                                                              I have
Thees av/Yoom av                                      You have
E av/She av/It av                                         He has/she has/it has
Weem av                                                     We have
Thees av/Yoom av                                      You have
Theym av                                                    They have


Putting it all into context:-

I av a gert biggun but thees av a littl’un                   
I have a really big one but you have a little one
E av a cawd ‘n she av diarrheawl but it av nuffink to do wiv er dyeut 
He has a cold and she has diarrhoea but it has nothing to do with her diet
Weem av a liebree in Embray but yoom juss av a ‘orse in the cuntray!
We have a library in Henbury but you just have a horse in the country!
Theym av trimmens at Christmuss dunnem?! 
They have decorations at Christmas don’t they’!

Simple Past
I ad                                                              I had
Thees ad/yoom ad                                      You had                   
E ad/she ad/it ad                                          He had/she had/it had
Weem ad                                                     We had
Thees ad/yoom ad                                       You had
Theym ad                                                    They had


Putting it all into context:-

I ad time me babber!                                          I had time my friend!
Thees ad it over thur!                                         You had it over there
E ad a good innin’s bu’ eeze out now.                He had a good innings but he’s out now.
She ‘ad a good time in Majorcawl!                    She had a good time in Majorca!
It ad a luvlay engine that fiestawl!                     That Fiesta had a wonderful engine!
Weem ad a laff at she dinnus?!                          We had a laugh at her didn’t we?!
Yoom ad a illness lass year.                               You had an illness last year.
Theym ad a windfall cuz theym spawnay!         They had a windfall because they’re lucky!


Future Tense
Ull av                                                          I’ll have
Thees’ll av/yawl av                                    You’ll have
Ill av/shill av/it’ll av                                   He’ll/she’ll/it’ll have
Will av                                                        We’ll have
Thees’ll av/*yawl av                                   You’ll have
Thell av                                                       They’ll have

*When accompanied by a past participle of another verb ‘yawl av’ can be replaced by yoom as in: “Yoom got the time me babs?” (Have you got the time my friend?)


Putting it all into context:-

Ull av ee, the basturd!                                              I’ll have him, the bastard!
Thees’ll ‘av a eppy if thees ain’t careful!                You’ll have a headfit if you’re not careful
Ill av a go but shill av anudder ideawl                     He’ll have a go but she’ll have another idea
It’ll av a gawf coarse ‘n will av a partay                  It will have a golf course and we’ll have a party
Yawl av they bananawls before thell av ‘em           You’ll have those bananas before they have them


Present Perfect Tense
I av ad                                                                      I have had
Thees av ad/yoom av ad                                         You have had
Eeve ad/sheeve ad/ it’ av ad                                    He/she/it has had
Weem av ad                                                             We have had
Thees av ad/yoom av ad                                          You have had
Theym av ad                                                            They have had


Putting it all into context:-

I av ad enough of thee, yoom a ijut!                       I have had enough of you, you’re an idiot!
Thees av ad me lacky band!                                   You have had my elastic band!
Eeve ad a eppy e av!                                               He has had a mad fit of anger!      
Sheeve ad yourn annall!                                         She has had yours as well!
It av ad a gert load of problems, me car!                My car has had a lot of problems
Weem av ad gert macky burgers!                           We have (just) had some huge burgers!
Yoom av ad a dollop of mash wiv thy dinner         You’ve had mashed potato with your dinner
Theym av ad a interleckshawl discussion               They have had an intellectual discussion

They have had an intellectual discussion (well, they are in Clifton)

Conditional Tense
I ud av or I’d av                                     I would have or I'd have
Thees/yoom ud av or You’d av             You would have
E/she/it ud av or E’d/she’d av                He/she/it would hav
Weem ud av or We’d av                        We would have
Thees/yoom ud av or You’d av              You would have
Theym ud av or They’d av                     They would have


Putting it all into context:-

I ud av it if I cud but thees ud av summat else!     I’d have it if I could but you’d have something else
E ud av a lot more now if e’d bin a keener!           He would have a lot more if he’d studied hard!
She ud av it by now, the jammer!                           She’d have it by now, fortunate young lady!
It ud av a ferrytale endin’!                                      It would have a fairytale ending.
Weem ud av they! They ain’t ’ard!                         We would have them in a fight! They’re not tough!
Yoom ud av a ‘eadfit if you seen er tattoos!           You would have a rage if you saw her tattoos!
Theym ud av a ard time wiv she!                            They would have a hard time with her!


Negative Form Of The Present Tense
I amt                                  I haven't
Thees/yoom ant                You haven't
E/she/it ant                        He/she/it hasn't
We amt                             We haven't
Thees/yoom amt               You haven't
They amt                          They haven't


Putting it all into context:-

I amt nuffink on I                                                     I haven’t anything on me
Thees ant a job no more                                          You don’t have a job anymore
E ant no ‘air on ‘is ‘ead!                                          He has no hair on his head
She ant no new cloes!                                              She has no new clothes!
It ant a bleedin’ prayer!                                            It doesn’t have a prayer!
We amt no furniture in the ouse!                             We haven’t any furniture in the house!
Yoom amt no kids tho!                                             You have no children though!
They amt no new chippie up the Mead!                   They don’t have a new fish and chip shop in Southmead


Negative Forms Of Other Tenses

Simple Past                             Ad becomes nevr’ad
Future tense:                            Ull av becomes on’t av
Present Perfect tense:               Av ad become amt ad
Conditional tense:                    Ud av becomes udden’t av


Putting all that into context in one phrase:-

I nevr’ad no luck wiv that Michele ‘n she on’t av I back. ‘Er new bloke amt ad it yet ‘n e udden’t av no clue neever!

(Translated into English):- I had no luck with Michele and she won’t have me back. Her new new boyfriend hasn’t done anything yet and he wouldn’t have a clue anyway!


Question Tags (with the verb ‘to av’):-
I done it anneye?                                             I’ve done it haven’t I?
Thees bin thur ant thee?                                 You’ve been there haven’t you?
E gone ‘n done it annee?                                He has gone and done it hasn’t he?
Sheeve a luvlay figure ant she?                      She has a lovely figure hasn’t she?
Iss started rainin’ annit?                                  It has started raining hasn’t it?
We got one of they annus?                              We’ve got one them haven’t we?
Yoom got a big ‘ouse ant you?                       You have a big house haven’t you?
Theym got lotsa money ant they?                   They have got a lot of money haven’t they?



Part Three: Conjugation  of the regular verb “to like” in Bristolian


Present tense
I likes
Thees likes/Yoom likes
E likes/She likes/It likes
Weem likes
Thees likes/Yoom likes
Theym likes


Putting it into context with a chat between several Bristolians:-

I likes she I dooze!                                                   I really like her!
Wot? Thees likes she?                                              What? You like her?
‘E likes she ‘n she likes ‘e                                        He likes her and she likes him
Weem likes she ‘n awl!                                            We like her as well!
Yoom awl likes she?                                                 You all like her?
Yeah, theym awl likes she, me babs.                        Yes, they all like her, my friend.

Alternative Present Tense
I duh like
Thee duh/yoom duh like
‘E duh/she duh/ it duh like
Weem duh like
Thee duh/yoom duh like
Theym duh like

N.B.    The ‘m’ in yoom, weem and theym is not always pronounced.


Simple Past – very simple. Exactly the same as in English. Like or likes becomes liked.

Future Tense. Is conjugated as in the future tense of the verbs to be and to av.

All the other tenses are conjugated as they are in the verbs to be and to av, the past participle for the verb to like being liked (as in English).


Putting it all into context:-

I udda liked to see the gas Sa’urday                          I would have liked to have watched Bristol Rovers on Saturday

                                                                                

Irregular verbs are a little different from in English and the form used for the simple past is far more often the same as the past participle.

Examples:-

I become good a’ that dinneye?                      I became good at that didn’t I?
I come after ‘e!                                                I came after him!
I drunk i’ awl me babber!                                I drank it all my friend!
I sung i’ well dinneye?                                    I sang it well didn’t I?

However, there are a few rare cases in which the simple past in Bristol is neither the same as its equivalent form in English nor the same as past participle:-

Thass wot I writ innit?                                    That’s what I wrote isn’t it?



Part Five: Modal Verb Cast/Cass


The modal verb “cast” or “cass” is equivalent to the English “can” (although nowadays the English form is, regrettably, very often used by Bristolians). Let’s see a few examples.

I cass do it me awd mucker.                                      I can do it my old friend.
E cass ride a ‘orse gert fantastic.                               He can ride a horse fantastically well.
Weem cass buy a new ‘ouse now                              We can buy a new house now

However, the negative form of cast/cass – cassen’t is one of the most famous words used in the Bristolian language. For instance, the Beatles song You Can’t Do That would become Thees Cassen’t Do That in Bristolian. The Rolling Stones song You Can’t Always Get What You Want becomes Thees Cassen’t Always Get Wot Thees Wants



Part Six: The Definite And Indefinite Articles


The definite article ‘the’ is spelt the same as it is in English but there is a slight variation in the pronunciation, the pronunciation being ‘thu’ (with the ‘u’ sound pronounced the same as in the word ‘but’). Furthermore, there is no change in the pronunciation before a word beginning with a vowel as there is in English when the pronunciation is more like ‘thee’.


The indefinite article is very simple in Bristolian. Again ‘a’ is spelt the same as it is in English but the pronunciation is more like ‘uh’ (again with the ‘u’ sound pronounced like the ‘u’ in the word ‘but’). It does not change before a word beginning with a vowel as it does in English where ‘a’ becomes ‘an’.

Example:-

Ark at ‘e! Eeze a ijut!                                                Listen to him! He’s an idiot!


Part Seven: Bristolian Pronouns

As you can see by this table, Bristolian pronouns have a lot in common with pronouns in standard English but there are a few differences.

	Subject Pronoun	Object Pronoun	Possessive Adjective (Determiner)	Possessive Pronoun	Reflexive or Intensive Pronoun
1st person singular	I	I	me	mine	meself
2nd person singular	thee/you/thees	thee/you	yer/thy	thine/yourn	thyself
3rd person singular, male	‘e	‘e/’im	‘is	‘is	‘isself
3rd person singular, female	she	she/ ‘er	‘er	‘ers	‘erself
3rd person singular, neutral	it	it	iss		isself
1st person plural	weem/we	us	arr	arrs	arrselves
2nd person plural	you/thee/thees	you/thee	thy/yer	yourn/thine	yourselves/thyselves
3rd person plural	theym/they	they	thur	thurs	thurselves

So let’s see how that works in context:-

I cassen’t elp meself. ‘E told I that it wuz ‘ers bu’ iss mine innit?! Me razor don’t belong to me missus! She ain’t got ‘airy legs! ‘Er legs is gert smooth innum?! Thees cassen’t say tha’ iss yourn cuz thee dussen’t know ‘ow to use one o’ they ‘lectric razors dust? Thy razor is one o’ they awd fashioned ones innit?! As for me brudder, ‘e cassen’t ‘elp isself neither! Weem both gets gert angry when someone tells us that’ arr razors ain’t arrs! Thees awl shud be ashamed of thyselves! Anyway, weem likes they ‘lectric razors. Theym’s the bess!

That covers most things athough, as you will realise by perusing the table, Bristolian is a very flexible language and there are alternatives that can be used.

Here is the same piece translated into English:-

I can’t help myself! He told me that it was hers but it’s mine isn’t it?! My razor doesn’t belong to my wife! She doesn’t have hairy legs! Here legs are really smooth aren’t they?! You can’t say that it’s yours because you don’t know how to use one of those electric razors do you? Your razor is one of those old fashioned ones isn’t it?! As for my brother, he can’t help himself either! We both get very angry when someone tells us that our razors aren’t ours! You all should be ashamed of yourselves! Anyway, we like those electric razors. They’re the best!



Part Eight: The Bristolian Subjunctive


The subjunctive is such an instinctive part of the spoken language that hardly any English people know whether they are using it or not. The same goes for Bristolians with regard to the Bristolian subjunctive. The Bristolian imperfect subjunctive is similar but slightly different from the English. I hardly need to explain that it expresses the possibility of doing something in conjunction with the conditional tense. For example:

If I done that it ud be gert mint!                                  If I did that it would be wonderful!                 
(Or) If I uz to do that it ud be gert mint!                     If I *were to do that it would be wonderful!

*Even posh English people, and pompous snobs who say Bristolian speakers sound like they’re standing in a field in the Middle Ages, will often say “if I was to do that” without realising that, strictly speaking, it’s an incorrect use of the imperfect subjunctive.

Imperfect tense of Bristolian subjunctive as taught at Bristol University

In Bristolian the form of the present subjunctive will very often be similar to how it is used in English and is usually used to express desires, requests or suggestions. For example:

Yer! I requests that that gert munter come to the partay!    
I say! I request that that rather ugly person come to the party!



Part Nine: Demonstrative Pronouns


Demonstrative pronouns in Bristolian are pretty much the same as they are in English although there are some slight differences. The pronunciation and spelling are variable in Bristolian.

This/dis/vis                                      This
That/dat/vat                                      That
These/dies/vees                                These
They/dey/vey                                   Those


Putting it all into context:-

This ‘un yer, awl rite?                                   This one here all right?
Thees cass leave they alone!                         You can leave those alone!
Dat ‘un ain’t no good!                                   That one isn’t any good!
Vees lit luns ain’t got no ideawl!                   These young children have no idea!


Part Ten: Prepositions

These are the main prepositions in Bristolian:-

a                                           of/to
fer                                         for
wiv                                       with
ah’                                        at
frum                                      from
bout                                      about
int’oo                                    into
fru                                         through
afturr                                     after
ovurr                                     over  
tween                                   between
ow’                                       out
gainst                                   against
joorin’                                   during
fore                                       before
unner                                    under
rown                                     around
mong                                    among


Putting it into context:-
Ize wiv me missus inneye?! We bin a Baff fer a bit. Yeah, we bin awl rown the town mind, fru awl they shops, mong they tourists ‘n awl. They tourists, they comes frum everywur joorin’ the summer, mind! Afturr ten minutes thur it wuz rainin’ wonnit?! We ad to shel’urr unner a tree fore we went int’oo one of they gert posh shops ‘n ow’ again. Got nuffink gainst they posh uns frum Baff bu’ tween thee ‘n me I fink iss gert rank ovurr thur! Bu‘ woss expeck? Ize frum Brisstawl inneye?! Anyway, ah’ bout alf pass elemm we fawt it ud be a good ideawl a come ome.
(Bristolian in Bath overheard speaking on his telephone).

Translated into English:-
I am with my wife aren’t I?! We’ve been to Bath for a while. Yes, we’ve been all around the town, through all the shops, and among the tourists as well. Those tourists come from all over during the summer. After ten minutes there it was raining wasn’t it?! We had to shelter under a tree before we went into one of those rather exclusive department stores and then out again. I have nothing against the rather posh people from Bath but, between you and I, I think it’s a rather over-rated place. But what do you expect. I’m from Bristol am I not? Anyway, at about half-past eleven we thought it would be a good idea to come home.
N.B. You will notice that in the Bristolian version of the above that Bristol is spelt Brisstawl which I think is a truer reflection of the way most Bristolians pronounce the name of their native city, rather than Bristle or Brizzle, two strangely unrepresentative spellings which have mysteriously come into vogue.


Conclusion

Well, for a quick guide to the essentials of Bristolian grammar I think I’ve covered most of the main points. I could go on and on and on and on and on about adjectives, adverbs and conjunctions etc. etc. but these aspects of Bristolian grammar follow pretty much the same rules as in English. Of course English and Bristolian are two seperate languages that are mutually intelligible, although it must be said that standard English is easier for a Bristolian to understand than standard Bristolian is for most other Englishmen to understand.

No doubt there will be a very small minority of Bristolians who will want to quibble about some of the contents of this little book. To them I would say that Bristolian is a very flexible language and that its spelling has no standard form. Furthermore, it should be said that some of the verb forms and conjugations have been gradually dying out, to be replaced by standard English (albeit with a Bristol accent). There will be people of my generation who will remember Bristolian characters from decades ago to whom speaking Bristolian, as taught in this little book, was as natural to them as drinking cider and eating bread. So, I do hope this little work of mine will help preserve the treasures of our warm and colourful language!    

 
© Geoff Davis